It is amazingly great, how people can say that it is one way when acts another.

There's a lot of people out there who actually are the way they say; Straight shot people. Those who are called "damnable" only because they do say the truth in your face, just the way they see it. It is that wrong? Yes... I am one of those.

Lately, I've realized that the fact of someone that it is too straight to say things, is indeed despised. You say things in a harsh way, that you should try to soften the way you speak to others when you mention something you don't like... Why?! When no matter the way, they still take it with you...

Oh yes! ...And that awkward moment when someone you really do care ignores you... To the point that you have to do this to get the attention of the person and still you doubt that will read you.... I wonder why it is so hard to say "Hi!" or just let you know that it is not a good day and you are not in the mood to talk... It is SAD to see that you are not that important, that you do care for nothing, because it seems you don't even deserve a greet or a simple "I'm not in the mood"... This situation damn fucking hurts and pisses me off! Why? Because, once again: I DO CARE! and YOU know that...

It is amusing. I am 95% sure that if I was a damn fething whore, a demanding bitch, I would get said "few words" I expected... But nahr... I am the ugly one who is too damn understanding to be true...

...And stupidly... I will remain that way...

I am tired of too much shit; You do have to chase and bug people in order to get a few words from them. That reminds me of something: It is just like when people tell you "You never call me!" ...and you think "Of course, I don't call you, but I message you, try to contact you on some medias, and you don't fucking care!" <~True story... Just happened now, when I went to the store near home and stepped with a friend. I even wonder if it is still one! Ha!

Oh God! Honestly, I am tired of too many things, now that I think about it...



By the way... To the nice people sending notes to ask about the previous journal entry:
I am still on a treatment, which I would love to skip... There's still a damn chance of having cancer; I knew about this today Too bad, that maybe some people will know about this on this media instead of ME telling them directly!.

To help y'all to get what I am talking about, I will just say it: About 3 months and a half ago I got a cyst removed from my left boob. The pain goes on and will stay there for a while...

There was a chance of 70% with the big cyst in there, and now that they removed it, there is still a 40%. All the processes are tiring, sometimes painful, and too damn annoying. Seems to be that people around me doesn't understand that most of the time, but as always, they are selfish and I have to understand them.

The pain is worse in the night and morning, when it is too cold or too warm. That, of course, doesn't help to rest at all. Sometimes I can't sleep. To the Doctors, all that is "normal". Yes! Because they are not dealing with the pain. Too bad, there are still other 2 or 3 months to go with it.

Maybe all I typed here, makes me feel worse, and I say it with no intention of making you feel bad at all. It is just the truth, and as I said at the beginning of this entry, I am a direct person. I am, just the way I am.

One of the worse things, it is that I can barely type: I am a left-handed. I cannot draw, I cannot play videogames... I can't work, and that is killing me... Because my biggest dream is even more far away than before, and I guess that the current situation may lead to my previous rant and to the fact that I am being ignored...

Damn it...

Hugs and thanks for reading once again, about things noone asked me to tell.

June 11th: The same shit is happening again... Great... Let's see what it is this time.